


The promise of love.

by greengoddess3



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Restaurant, Chef Alec Lightwood, Confessions, Insecure Magnus Bane, Light Angst, M/M, Out of the Closet Alec Lightwood, Post-Break Up, Regret, Reminiscing, Reunited and It Feels So Good, Second Chances, Second Time, Starting Over, True Love, Two Years Later
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-15
Updated: 2018-08-15
Packaged: 2019-06-27 18:42:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15691173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greengoddess3/pseuds/greengoddess3
Summary: The fear to love freely tore them apart once but what will Alec do when Magnus is thrust back into his life two years later?Will he take the chance to love again or will the pain of his past deeds be too much?A one shot about break ups, growing up and growing back together.





	The promise of love.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoy :)

It was like an abyss of pain, this incessant need to love and protect, to nurture and care, to devote, honour and worship. In all his life Alec had never found such a hunger and desire before, such a power that buried itself deep inside him screaming to be acknowledged.

The problem was not that he couldn’t have or didn’t want, it was that the one person who could heal this gaping wound was the one person who caused it in the first place. Himself.

It was all his fault, he let him walk away, cheeks stained with rejection and fear, with _we could nevers_ and _it’s not enough_. Never once did he stop and think about why he was being so selfish, why he was breaking both their hearts, why he couldn’t just try harder.

He should have known that moving back was going to hurt, going to make those feelings and regrets that he has long buried resurface without remorse.

Watching Magnus simply exist was one of the most beautifully torturing things he had ever experienced. Alec’s chest heaved making it hard to breath, as Magnus threw his head back and laughed in a way that only Alec thought he could cause. The joy and wonder that bubbled from deep within his belly when his eyes crinkled and body playfully shook. Alec just wanted to touch, to feel the warm vibrations of his skin, to hold him close as he burrowed his head into his neck, delicious laughter licking along Alec’s skin.

There are many things that Alec can stomach but watching Magnus on a date with someone else, that honestly hurt. He needed to get a grip, it had been more than two years since he had ended things with Magnus, he was single now, he could do with his life whatever he pleases.

It’s that simple right? He deserves to be happy and with someone who can give him everything. Alec had been the one to cause him so much pain, the disappointment behind Magnus’ kind eyes would forever haunt him. The angst behind the _maybe next times_ and _don’t worry about it Alexander_ as Alec promised Magnus that he could be better, wanted to be better, but he never was. He allowed fear to control his every decision, to push away the one person he truly loved and now this was his consequence. A life where Magnus is happy with someone who wasn’t him.

The dough was firm and dry from over kneading, a symbol of the pressure he had once placed on himself to be unyielding. He shook himself free of the daze that had swallowed him, tracking his gaze around the room filled to the brim with people of all kinds. It was only fitting that Magnus would be the one to cause such a distraction, if even possible the man was more radiant than ever. He shone like a crackling fire on a stormy night, drawing you closer, warming you from the inside out. He always did, he always will.

It was a welcome change in his demeanour from the way that they had left each other, on a cold and stormy night in the middle of Brooklyn. The rain had washed away Magnus’ tears as his reddened eyes glanced at Alec for one last time. The Magnus before him was nothing compared to the broken man he once knew, rather he was more like the Magnus who had first captivated him, young and carefree, valiant and full of glee. Alec had held him back, had buried the real Magnus, had shackled him to prison that he had long since freed himself from.

As the sweat from the wood fire oven trickled down Alec’s neck, he stood captivated by the familiarity of his current situation. Of how he used to watch Magnus as he worked whilst Alec would cook for them, basking in the bliss of their time together, wondering how he got so lucky to have someone like Magnus.

A heavy weight collided with his bicep causing him to drop the dough off the edge of the bench. Snapping him out of his thoughts, he squinted his eyes in annoyance as his kitchen manager glared at him.

‘Honestly Alec, we’re twenty orders deep and you’re here spacing out every five minutes. Do I need to call Jace?’

Alec’s heart stuttered at the name, the last thing he needed was his loud best friend coming in here and making a scene. He already had to deal with seeing Magnus for the first time in over a year, he really didn't need anymore stress for the night.

‘Maia, I’m fine, honestly. I’m just tired, it’s been non-stop since we opened.’

Shuffling to begin cleaning up his mess, Alec’s eyes darted to the bench attempting to avoid Maia’s knowing gaze.

Maia squinted her eyes, tilting her head as she studied him. ‘Magnus is here, isn’t he?’

Alec’s chest tightened at the name, he closed his eyes momentarily as he pinched the bridge of his nose and nodded. ‘Yeah.....he’s on a date, I think’

Frowning Maia crossed her arms over her chest, shuffling next to Alec as her voice softened, ‘If you need to go it’s fine. You need to rest, go on.’ Looping her arm around his she tugged him up, pushing him out of the kitchen before he could protest. ‘We got this boss, don’t sweat it.’ Smirking Maia blew him a kiss making him chuckle at her dramatics before she turned swiftly to take command of the kitchen.

Wiping the sweat off of his forehead with his forearm, he took long strides towards the shared break area in the back. Taking off his apron he rested his forehead against the door of the employee lockers and exhaled. The cool metal against his skin steadying him as he tried to control his racing thoughts. He knew he was bound to run into Magnus eventually, their work was certain to force them into the same vicinity by nature. It’s just, he honestly didn’t realise how much Magnus’s presence would affect him, how truly excruciating it would be.

He really had tried over their time apart to move on from Magnus. Countless dates and less than desirable one night stands had provided a temporary remedy to his deep longing. Nothing however could erase the constant ache in his chest, the disquiet and unrest as he yearned for more. Something more complete and honest, something comforting and warm, something akin to everything Magnus gave him, nothing else.

Sighing Alec slinked his arms through his jacket, grabbing his keys and stalking out the back door. One day he would find someone to patch up this hole in his chest, one day.

***

The iPad flew across the coffee table, Jace’s mischievous grin carrying it to Alec’s feet as he laid across the large couch. Tipping his head forward, Jace gestured toward the device as he muttered, ‘Open it’ before throwing himself down next to Alec.

Rolling his eyes Alec sighed at his brother’s youthful spirit before allowing his eyes to glaze over the unlocked screen. His breath hitched, body unconsciously straightening himself as he read the heading of the first article on the website.

_**Food for the soul in the middle of Brooklyn  
—Magnus Bane for the New York Times** _

To the right sat a picture of Alec in action, as he threw pizza dough into the arm, flouring flying around him in the midst of throwing his head back and laughing with Maia. He stared at the preview of the article, finger hovering nervously over the words on the page.

Bumping his shoulders with Alec, Jace reached over and clicked the link in excitement as he whispered ‘Congrats bro’, swatting him on the shoulder in elation.

Alec dropped his gaze, thumbing pushing the words into view as he began to read the review, silently hoping that Magnus wasn’t using this as a way to enact revenge for their failed relationship. The words on the page jumped and spun through Alec’s mind, the praise and adoration for Max’s House, the _wonderful, magnificent_ and _amazing_ that littered the screen, all ending with five golden stars at the bottom of the page.

Inhaling deeply Alec turned to Jace, mouth widening into an uncontainable grin as he whispered ‘We did it’ before colliding with his best friend. He buried his face in Jace’s shoulder as his arms wrapped around his back, squeezing him tightly as they both giggled.

‘I’m so proud of you Alec. He would be so proud of you.’

Alec stilled as the tears collected in the corners of his eyes, thinking back to his little brother and their dream to open a restaurant together. After they had lost him, opening the restaurant had become Alec’s obsession. He wanted nothing more than to bring both of their dreams alive.

If Max couldn’t have what he always wanted then he would have it before the both of them, the world deserved to feel the love Max had for food too.

‘I’ll have Maia send Magnus a thank you present tomorrow.’

Alec felt his body still as the words collided against him, his body hanging forward as Jace released him from their embrace. He sat there wide eyed, rubbing his fingers together as his brow furrowed before dragging a hand across his face. ‘Right yes, of course.’

Noticing his slip of tongue Jace placed a hand on Alec’s shoulder, fingers digging into his muscle as he stammered, ‘I’m sorry I shouldn’t have...’

‘Jace, it’s alright.’

‘No, Alec I..’

‘It’s fine, he’s happy now, it’s just...fine.’

Alec patted his arm in reassurance before he extracted himself from the lounge, falling into his bed with a loud groan as his head hit the pillow. His heart clenched, remembering Magnus’ formidable support for his dreams. Regardless of the secrecy of their relationship, the man always stood beside him in everything that he did.

He never really told him but Magnus was apart of his love for food, his desire to care for another, his need to provide them nourishment. He knew that in many ways that the food was just a symbol of an emotion that swam deep within him. A force so pure and untouched that it would bring the vilest of creatures to their knees. Feelings that he had never felt before, feelings that scared him, feelings that he feared would cause him to lose it all.

His family, his friends, his job, his reputation, everything that made him who he was, everything that Magnus wanted him to give up. The cracks were there from the start, there from the day that he so selfishly shoved Magnus back into the closet with him. There in the conflict in his eyes as he kissed Alec tenderly and told him everything would be alright.

That was the first time Magnus ever lied to him and after that it became a series of avoidances, if only to maintain their facade of happiness. The string that they both clung to hoping that the love they had for each other would supersede the challenges that had consumed them. The biggest of them being Alec’s fear to be free in his sexuality, in a world which so quickly tortured those who were different. He was genuinely scared, terrified of not being accepted by those he loved, afraid that eventually even Magnus would give up on him.

In the end he pushed Magnus away, made the once vibrant man into a bleak representation of his true self, into a black and white when he should be nothing but colour. He lost Magnus to a world of secrecy and fear, a world where he wanted to be free if only to keep the one man who made him feel the most alive….but he couldn’t and he didn’t.

This life he now lived of watching the life he could have had with the beautiful man, this would just have to do.

***

The past few exhausting weeks saw Alec succumbing to restless nights as they tried to manage the onslaught of patrons at the restaurant. The buzz generated from Magnus’s review forced them to resort to an online booking system after the lines outside become too hard for their relatively small staff to manage.

Alec was beyond shocked at the sudden increase in business, their Yelp score was sitting at a 4.9 stars with nothing but praise from their customers. He never imagined Max’s House to be bring in such a diverse mix of people, originally thinking it would simply be a hang out for over worked and under paid adults craving good food and an after work drink.

Now it was becoming more than he ever anticipated and everything he secretly ever wanted. People living their life to the fullest, surrounded by the people they loved and cared about, sharing their time and joy with each other. There was nothing more he wanted for them, nothing more he wanted for himself.

‘Alright boss that’s the last of them.’

Rolling his eyes at the moniker, Alec sipped his bourbon as he leant against the bar watching his staff wipe over the tables. They were all beyond fatigue, having to extend their opening hours to satisfy the appetites of their hungry and extremely eager patrons.

Throwing his head back Alec exhaled as the reality of his last working day of the week washed over him. This was becoming his new normal, long days and busy nights, all to bring his gift to the world, to bring Max’s love to the world. Something he would always be grateful for having the opportunity to do.

‘Thanks, Raj but again, it’s just Alec. I’m not your boss, okay?’

Shrugging his shoulders as he held back a smile, Raj turned to leave, pausing momentarily before he spoke over his shoulder, ‘Oh by the way, there’s someone waiting for you out front. I told him you’ll be out soon.’

Alex furrowed his brows in confusion, a visitor? Most of his friends either worked at the restaurant or lived out of the country. Maybe Simon had decided to return home early. Clutching his fingers along the base of the glass, Alec tipped the contents of his drinks down his throat, winching slightly at the smooth and welcome burn. The shot of his favourite liquor had become his and Jace’s way of celebrating a successful week, if only to remind them of the small successes of their busy lives.

Pushing through the doors Alec’s lips parted slightly, pulse beginning to race as he took in the man leaning against the wall of his restaurant. His eyes glazed over as the man smiled at him, his fingers curled around the phone against his ear as he lowered it before licking his lips.

‘Hello Alec.’

Alec’s stomach dropped as Magnus’ velvety tone collided against his chest, his breath coming out in pants with every step that the man took towards him.

‘H-hi Magnus, hi.’

His eyes darted around Magnus as he took in a full view of his ex-boyfriend, getting lost in the curves of his body that yearned to feel under his palm. He noted the caramel layers to his perfectly styled hair, the way his muscles seemed to have tightened, the vibrancy in the clothes of the man he had once loved. His eyes fixated on those gloriously plump lips before settling on those warm and inviting golden eyes, the eyes which he spent many nights losing himself in.

An awkward tension settled between them as they stood taking each other in, admiring everything they had each become, remembering what they had both lost.

Clearing his throat Magnus played with the large gold ring on his index finger, the ring Alec had given him on their first anniversary together, the ring he had promised himself to Magnus with. With widened eyes his breath hitched as he felt Magnus’ warm presence inching closer to him, his senses awoken by the spicy aroma of his intoxicating cologne.

‘How are you Alec? Are you well?’

Shoving his hands into his jacket, Alec rocked back onto his heels before replying, ‘Yeah ah good, just exhausted’. He chuckled nervously as his hands gripped the inside of his pockets. ‘You?’

‘Oh, that’s great. I’ve been good. I, um, see you moved back to Brooklyn. ’

Releasing his lip from in between his teeth Alec tilted his head to the side as as he smiled warmly at Magnus. ‘Yeah, I thought it was time to come home.’

They stood there for a couple of minutes, the silence between them thick as Alec’s heart beat wildly in his chest. He noticed Magnus’ anticipation, his lips trembling as he opened and closed his mouth and stared at Alec. He chuckled nervously, shaking his head before asking ’Can I walk you home?’, a shy smile on his face.

Gently nodding Alec turned as the man took residence next to him, matching his pace as they strolled through the vibrant streets of late night New York. He had lived here for most of his short life, each corner possessing a fond memory of his youth. It was only fitting that he would eventually settle here as an adult, for both business and pleasure. This was his home, a place that made the comfort soothe into his bones, a place that made his heart race, a place where he truthfully felt alive.

For some reason walking next to Magnus made him feel no less content. It was as if regardless of the years they had spent apart, their bodies had not forgotten how in sync they truly were. He allowed his body to carry him, his anxiety and internal unrest settling with every step that he took. His and Magnus’ shoulder’s brushed gently as they strolled the familiar streets, a past time that they had both enjoyed during their time together.

Alec took a deep breath before he spoke, not wanting to ruin the tranquility of the atmosphere but anxious to release the thought that had been playing on his mind.

‘I wanted to thank you for your column, it really changed everything for us. I hope you didn't feel obliged to do that for me. ’

Shifting his gaze to Alec’s face, Magnus gasped as he responded, ‘What? No, way. You deserved it Alec. That was honestly one of the best nights I’ve had in a while. I’m so very proud of you.’

With his eyes firmly locked on Magnus’, Alec felt waves of heat overtake him as the butterflies took flight in his stomach. Magnus was truly one of the most beautiful people he had ever laid eyes on, the way he so effortlessly carried himself was sincerely captivating.

Memories of the night that Magnus visited the restaurant flooded through Alec’s mind, his eyes hardened slightly remembering that Magnus did not come to the restaurant alone.

‘Thank you Magnus. I hope that you and your...date enjoyed yourselves.’

They had long reached the front of Alec’s apartment building, both lingering in the cool air of the night waiting for something they were both seemingly too scared to grasp. Whatever it was clung to Alec’s chest, digging its nails into his veins, clawing at his skin to be free. He sensed the same in Magnus’ nervousness, in the way the man searched deep into his eyes, in his small and polite smiles.

Sighing Magnus shook his head, eyes softening as he spoke, ‘that wasn’t ...that was my cousin from London.’ Draping his arms around his body as he leaned forward, Alec noticed the uneasiness in Magnus’ demeanour, the way he spoke with an edge of doubt as he shielded himself from Alec.

‘Oh! That’s good!’ Winching at his over enthusiasm Alec relaxed his arms against his body. ‘I mean....’

The short pause caused Magnus to lift his head, eyes boring into Alec’s as the he relaxed the tension in his shoulders. Alec watched as the man stood before him, waiting and wondering, a thousand questions glistening in his tender gaze.

Alec’s eyes drifted around his face, a privilege he had a long since yearned for, a wonder that in the midst of his solitude had crept and commanded his thoughts. His eyes drifted to the man’s hands once again, the glint of that familiar ring catching his eye.

Noticing his musing, Magnus glanced down, fingers curling against his palm as he hid the ring, tucking his fist between his ribs and bicep. Eyes averting Alec’s gaze he shrugged dismissively as he muttered, ‘I’m sorry, I probably should have given that back.’

Alec’s heart softened at the vulnerability in Magnus’ tone, the way that the usually confident man shrunk into himself, body language that Alec had so quickly become accustomed to. It pained him to think that he knew more of Magnus’ insecurity than his confidence, of his disappointment rather than his pride, of his fear rather than his love.

‘No, Magnus I gave that to you for a reason. I want you to keep it...If it all still means the same to you.’

Alec winced as the words left his mouth, what had he just done? After the pain he had caused Magnus all he was now doing was giving him a false sense of hope for what once was. Reminding him of Alec’s mistreatment of him, of how Alec had shown him so much less than the respect that he deserved.

Magnus always was an anomaly in all his life. The one who gave him the chance to feel desired, the one who gave him an escape from a life that he didn't control. All that Magnus had asked is that he be proud of who is he, that he be proud of who they are, that he be honoured to show the world their love. To him though it was too great of a task. His love never wavered for Magnus but eventually it just was too much heartache for them both to bare. Letting Magnus go was one of the worst decisions of his life but he couldn't pretend that he felt any more satisfied knowing he was holding him back.

Smiling shyly Magnus bite the corner of his lip before nodding, ‘It’s always meant the same, it never stopped. Alexander, I...’

The thumping in Alec’s chest increased tenfold, his stomach doing somersaults upon hearing his full name being spoken by the voice that he had spent many nights aching to hear. The tender way that Magnus caressed every vowel, soothed every consonant, ran his tongue over each edge and curve. Alec suddenly felt something snap within him, a deep fissure emerging from a once heavily guarded fortress.

 

‘Yes, Magnus?’ Alec managed to gulp out, his voice coming out weaker than he expected, foreign to even his ears. All the hairs on his body stood at attention, hoping and waiting for the words that he hungered to hear. A chance for something new, a chance to give Magnus his all, a second chance at love.

‘I would love...I mean I hope that... maybe we can get to know each other again? I don’t know… as friends?’

Alec heart fluttered at the admission, shaking his head he took a calming breath, stepping towards Magnus as he rested his hand against his neck, fingers curling against his warm skin. 

‘Magnus, we could never be friends.’

He felt the man tense beneath his palm, flinching away from him as his wet eyes flickered with sudden remorse. Alec hated seeing Magnus so closed off and curled into himself, he missed those wide smiles and that beautiful billowing laugh. He _missed_ him.

Drawing comforting circles on Magnus’ neck, Alec tightened his grip and stepped forward so that they were inches apart. Taking a steadying breath he fixed his intense gaze on Magnus before he spoke, ‘there is no universe where we could be just friends, we are so much more Magnus, so much more. I let go of you once but I won’t do that again. I want to know you, know everything about you, learn you, honour you, respect you. I won’t ever hide you again. Never again.’ Closing the gap between them he planted a chaste kiss against Magnus’ temple before stepping back and clasping his hands behind his back.

His tongue darted out to lick the corners of his mouth, eyes fluttering shut momentarily. ’So what do you say about us maybe starting over?’

Blushing Magnus smiled tenderly, tears welled in the corners of his eyes as he nodded, ‘yeah...yes, I would love that.’

Grinning without remorse Alec’s eyes crinkled as he shrugged one shoulder, ‘I suppose I should take you on a date then.’

Magnus raised one eyebrow, smirking as he replied in jest, ‘Yes Alexander, I suppose you should.’


End file.
